One of the challenges many Christians have is negotiating the dynamics of what we call, "the flesh." When referring to the flesh, we're not talking about one's physical body. We're talking about the sinful nature that every human being inherited from Adam (Romans 5). Because of the sinful nature, even as Christians, a lot of times we end up doing wrong, even when we know what's right (Romans 7). This dynamic of the flesh even affects our relationships.
Many times when we think we're "in love," it's really not love, it's lust. In Galatians chapter 5, the scripture states that the flesh is comprised of affections and lusts. It's the affections of the flesh that really fools us. Affections can be defined as "energy and passion directed towards something or someone with the intent of reinforcing one's significance, self-worth and self-esteem." So when you find yourself "falling in love," you could actually be having feelings that are flesh-driven, regulated by sinful affections.
The way to know whether or not your feelings are flesh-driven or love-oriented is your motivation. As you interact with an individual, are you motivated more by what it does for them or what it does for you? As the relationship unfolds, are you happier about the things you get or the things you give? When it comes to disputes and disagreements, are you upset when you don't get your way or are you ok when the other person gets what they want at the sacrifice of your own personal desire?
Love is Selfless, lust is Selfish. It's time for the Church to mature, and make sure that our relationships are transitioning from lust to love.
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