As we continue our discussion on The Focus of the Family, we want to address the issue of Divorce. The random statistics suggest that roughly 50% of all marriages in America end up in Divorce. What is more alarming to me is that it has been stated that nearly 60% of all Christian marriages end up in Divorce. What a tragedy! This means that marriages in the church are failing at a higher rate than those in the world. This is a terrible witness. But it stands to reason, because many Christians follow the same principles for marriage that the world does. Therefore we cannot be surprised if we are getting similar, and obviously in some cases, worse results. This is an issue that has to be addressed in and by the church. We must address the issue of Divorce.
The first thing that we want to establish is that God Hates Divorce (Malachi 2). From this we must conclude that it is not "alright" to get married and then just get a Divorce; particularly on multiple occasions! This is not pleasing to God. When a person gets married, we need to establish the commitment to stay married until "death do us part".
The next thing we want to establish is that Marriage is not designed to "make you happy". This is the illusion that a lot of people make, including Christians, going into marriage. People tend to think that once they get married, at best, it will lead to or enhance their Happiness. This is incorrect. The fallacy is, when people discover that their spouse is not "making them happy", then they decide to "get a Divorce". However, if the false premise had not been embraced that married life was going to make you happy, you may not have been so inclined to part from your vows to God. Therefore, we have to erase this very secular notion that marriage is designed to make you happy. It is not.
So if marriage is not for happiness, then why get married? Marriage is not for happiness, it's for the fulfillment of Divine Purpose. Let me say it again: you don't get married for happiness, you get married for Purpose. This is where most of Americans, including Christians, miss it. We've been conditioned to find a "life partner" for whom we are compatible with, have chemistry, common interests, common goals and mutual attraction. What does any of that have to do with God? All of those things are secular and superficial. The question that needs to be raised before getting married is, Is this the individual that God has ordained to help me fulfill His Divine Calling and Purpose for my life? If they are not (and you can discern that) then you have no business marrying them; no matter how much you are romantically "in love" with them.
Saints, if you are married and you are a child of God, I strongly encourage you to hold on to your marriage. Even if you got married for the "wrong reasons". Even if your spouse is not the one that "God" actually chose for you (you chose them yourself); because you made vows to God in your marriage ceremony, and even if you didn't, marriage is of God not of man: I strongly encourage you-hold on to your marriage. Granted there are some conditions that require divorce (Matthew 19); but let that be the exception, not the rule. Let us be prayerful and allow God to heal and restore our marriages. For at the end of the day, God Hates Divorce.
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