Many of us have had experiences where someone hurt our feelings, did us wrong or dogged us out. I'm sure all of us at some level have been betrayed or our trust broken in a relationship. Pain unfortunately is a part of life. But how we handle the pain and how we handle the hurt is a Choice. This is very critical for Christians, because as believers in Christ who have been saved by Grace, we have an obligation and a responsibility to forgive (Matthew 6). Some us are still angry, some of us are still hurt, some of us are still mad about what happened to us years and years ago. This is not the Will of God. It is not God's will for us to be bitter, it's God's Will for us to get Better. Our salvific destiny hinges on the fact of whether we have the capacity to forgive others as Christ has forgiven us (Colossians 3).
One of the ways that we can get Better and not bitter is to recognize the need for Healing. Whether it's the loss of a loved one through death, a divorce or a break-up of a significant relationship. Whether it's the loss of a job or some other type of hurt that you've been challenged to endure; people are quick to say, "I'm Ok". This is not always an accurate response to their emotional state and condition. I'm sure people want to "believe" that they're ok, but in a lot of instances, they are not. It's time that we start admitting and acknowledging, no I'm not ok. Yes I still hurt, yes I still cry about it, yes I'm still angry, yes I'm still mad. It's ok to feel that way, it's just not ok to "stay that way" (Ephesians 4). And if you're in denial about where you are emotionally in regards to the hurt and pain you've been through, you're not going to heal and the pain is going to grow into bitterness and resentment. Once again, this is not the Will of God. We've got to take the time to say "ouch". We must acknowledge the need to be healed.
Another means of not getting bitter and getting Better is to talk to someone. There are too many people that are "holding the pain in". I know sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to about your personal and intimate feelings; but the word of God says that we should confess our faults one to another that we may be healed (James 5). This is why I am a strong proponent of Counseling. I know there are some Christians that are too "spiritual" to take advantage of this resource, but it is needed, even for a lot of believers. Sometimes, we just don't have the capacity to work through a painful and hurtful situation on our own. We need help. And if your support system isn't sufficient to assist you emotionally and psychologically through some of your painful episodes in life, a good counselor may be the answer to your prayers.
Finally saints, keep in mind that at the end of the day, being bitter simply is not the Divine Will of God (Ephesians 4). No matter how you justify it to yourself, as a child of God and a believer in Christ, you simply don't have the right to hold bitterness in your heart. And as I referenced earlier, holding onto bitterness can have dangerous eternal repercussions for your life. Give your pain to God. Let Him minister to you and heal the wounds and hurts that you've absorbed in life. Learn to let the Grace of God make you Better, not bitter.
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