All Lust, No Love

I was reading a passage in the first chapter of Romans (The Message Translation) that described relationships as "all lust, no love". The passage really struck me as to accurately describing what has transpired in many of our relationships today. Even though we have major issues in our country in regards to same-sex marriage and transgender concerns, a lot of these matters have actually grown out of the delinquency and dysfunction of many of our heterosexual relationships. Even though male and female is natural, a lot of these relationships are still out of Divine Order.

What has to be examined, particularly by Christians, is: are the relationships that we're entering based on Lust or based on Love? Of course most of us want to believe it's Love; but there's a 50% divorce rate in America for a reason. And the last I heard, the statistics stated that the divorce rate amongst Christians was 60%. Christians are getting divorced in larger proportion than the world! Something is wrong with that picture.

So how do you know if it's Love or Lust? First off, being "in lust" with someone doesn't necessarily mean that you want to just rip their clothes off and jump in the bed with them (I hope that wasn't too graphic). A lot of people automatically associate lust with sex. The two are definitely closely related, but far from synonymous. You're being regulated by lust relationally when your first priority and focus in the relationship is you. We don't intend to be self-centered, but unfortunately, most of us are. Do they like me? Are we going to get together? How do they make me feel? Am I "happier" around them? How do they "complement me" in the long run? All of these are legitimate questions, but there's only one challenge; they're all about you! Self-centeredness is the root of all lust. No matter how mild and modest your selfishness may appear to be, it is the breeding ground for the manifestation of lust in your relationship.

Love doesn't think about self first. Not that it doesn't think about self at all, but it's not the primary focus. The primary focus of Love is God. When you're in a relationship that's based on Love, the first question you ask is, what is God going to get out of this? Is it God's Will for me to be with this person? Has the Lord brought us together? How has this person been divinely ordained to assist me in the fulfillment of God's purpose for my life? These are the questions that a Love-based relationship will ask. Then Love will ask, how can I support this person? How can I serve them? How has God gifted me to assist them in the fulfillment of God's purpose for their life? None of these questions revolve around Self.

Whether you're saved or not, all relationships that are based on lust end up with the same results. It's time we go back to the Father and let His Spirit, not our desires, not our attractions, not our ambitions, lead us and guide us in our personal relationships with the opposite sex. The Word of God is still true, "what...God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Mark 10). If we let the Spirit of God and His Love regulate our relationships, then we can be sure they will not be All Lust, No Love.