Forgiveness, Part 2

As we continue the topic on forgiveness, let us ask the question, why is it so hard to forgive? Many Christians know that forgiveness is the "right thing to do," but deep down in our hearts we still find that there's resentment, bitterness, hatred, and anger against those who have hurt us and abused us in the past and even in the present. So how do we work through this?

Let us first establish that forgiveness is a decision, not a process. A lot of Christians think that it takes "time" to forgive. This is incorrect. Forgiveness does not take time, forgiveness is a decision. It takes time to "heal," but it doesn't take time to forgive. If somebody were to come up to me and hit me in the jaw and break my jaw (God forbid), it would be my responsibility to forgive that person "on the spot." However, it would take weeks, if not months, for my jaw to heal. The healing is a process that takes time, the forgiveness is an instant decision.

Just as I would have to heal physically from a broken jaw, I would also have to heal emotionally and psychologically from the trauma of such a painful experience. This is what a lot of Christians are experiencing; we're confusing the responsibility of forgiveness with the challenge of healing emotionally and mentally from the hurts of our past; which is a process and which takes time. So, if you haven't healed, then when you think about that person and that incident, those raw emotions and memories come back, and that pain sparks that anger and the resentment resurfaces. But when you forgive, it means you no longer hold anything against the person who hurt you or did you harm. In essence, you're letting them off the hook. Once you relinquish them from being held accountable for what happened to you, then you're free to heal from the pain you had to endure.

Now, if you haven't learned to forgive, then your visceral reaction is going to be, that's not fair. Really? Was it fair for Jesus Christ to die for your sins? Was it fair for a Man that did absolutely nothing wrong to be punished like and as a sinner? Was it fair for Jesus to have to leave the Glory of Heaven to come down in humility as a human and pay the price for your and my sin? Let's not talk about "fairness" as Christians!

And that's the point, Saints: It's not natural to forgive, it takes the Holy Spirit. But the motivation and commitment ought to be there because of the price that Jesus had to pay that we might receive forgiveness from the Father.